Stuart Murdoch was born in 1968 and grew up in Ayr. In the late 80s, he fell ill with ME/chronic fatigue syndrome and was laid low for seven years. By 1995, he had regained sufficient energy to start the indie pop band Belle and Sebastian, which is still going strong today, 12 albums later. Murdoch published a memoir in 2010 and wrote and directed the 2014 film God Help the Girl. Now he’s written an autobiographical novel, Nobody’s Empire. Murdoch spoke to me from Glasgow where he lives with his wife, Marisa Privitera, and their two sons.
The story you tell in Nobody’s Empire is very similar to your own story of dealing with ME and becoming a songwriter in your early 20s. Why did you decide to write it as a novel and not a memoir?
I think it’s my natural storytelling guise – it’s become natural for me, maybe as a born liar or something [laughs]. When you’re writing songs, you’re in a certain mode and you can get away with more stuff – songs are a step away from reality – and I just found that world easier to inhabit. But there were practical reasons as well: it was a long time ago and I was making up the conversations.
Your early years with ME sounded really tough. Was it difficult revisiting them?
I was corresponding with Michael, who I lived with for those years (the character of Richard in the book is based on him somewhat), and we were agreeing that these were some dark times, but I said to him: “It’s funny, I had such a nice time revisiting it.” Maybe it’s that rose-coloured spectacles thing, but I find that when you look at an episode of your life like a story or a movie, it becomes way easier to handle. In some regards, you’ve mastered it.
The book suggests that some good things came out of being forced by ME to slow down and live a quieter life.
I just feel like when you’re in your life, even if it’s quite desperate, you work with what you have and you’re always trying to look for the gains. And so for me the two big up-points of having gone through this difficult time were [acquiring] faith and [making] music. I never looked back.
The book’s protagonist, Stephen, starts writing songs in an extremely tentative way. Is that how it was for you?
Yeah. I had that first little inspiration where a tune came to me at the piano in my mum’s house and I was like, where did that come from? It was just this sudden moment, I’m talking about two or three minutes that changed my whole life. But the progress after that was glacial. It wasn’t until 1995 that my pace of songwriting picked up and I was ready for the band. Belle and Sebastian was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. It was heightened by the fact that I’d been ill for seven years – you see a doorway in a dark cave and you run for it as fast as you can.
You mentioned faith. Do you still pray?
Yes, it’s never gone, it’s only increased. I go to church a lot. And I sing in a choir – the same choir that I stumbled into [in the early 1990s]. It’s like another family.
How big a presence is ME in your life now?
Coping is the main thing. My baseline energy kept going up during the 90s and I was pretty good through the 2000s, but I was always protecting myself. I built this thing around me that I could do, which was the band. We’d always scurry away and hide and rest. Then I was found out a little bit by marriage and kids and I took a dip. Obviously I’m way more active than so many poor people with ME, and I sometimes feel this book will be like the Trainspotting of ME. I wanted to write an inspiration for people who are stuck with it. So I hope people can accept this book as an entertainment as well as something compassionate.
I saw you on X the other day wondering with some trepidation whether it might be labelled “sad boy lit”.
I only commented on that as a question mark; I never knew such a thing existed. Really, I couldn’t care less. I’m used to people labelling the band in various ways, and there will be people who will think that [about the book], but they won’t read it so I don’t care.
Your wife’s from Florida, as is Stephen’s girlfriend Janey in the book. Any connection there?
There is. Janey’s part-Marisa, and that’s as close as the book gets to a sex scene. I don’t know whether that embarrasses my wife more or less. She said to me: “Don’t put any sex in the book. Guys don’t know how to write about sex, it’s always a mess.” I think by leaning on her Florida upbringing, it makes it kind of OK.
Where do you write?
I have my favourite spots around Glasgow – outdoors if possible, or I’ll sit in a cafe. And often I write on my phone. You’re not conspicuous. Everybody’s on their phones. And I’ve got this method where I can write with one finger using predictive text. I said to my wife: “Look, I’ve got a superpower, I can write as fast as you talk.” She was quite impressed.
Have you read any great books recently?
I’m a poor reader, especially of fiction. I gave that up a long time ago. The same goes with listening to records. The pockets of time I might spend reading are spent doing meditation or other spiritual things. Probably my favourite book, or the book that I keep coming back to in the last year, is The Mindful Way Through Depression [by Jon Kabat-Zinn et al]. That’s not going to be everybody’s go-to blockbuster, but for some people it’s very helpful.
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Aside from that, one of the little joys in the past few years is reading to my kids or listening to audiobooks with them. Recently we’ve done Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. I didn’t know how my eldest was going to take to it because he’s quite a boy boy, but he loved it.
Did you read more actively when you were younger?
In my late teens and early 20s, including the ME time, reading was the meat and drink of my day. I felt it was always informing and changing me. I spent all my money in a shop in Glasgow called Caledonia Books.
Which authors had an impact on you?
I think generally the Victorians and Edwardians – Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, Somerset Maugham. They changed the way I spoke, they changed me.
Any plans to write another book?
I’d love to, but it would have to have the same weight and circumstance that this one had for me. I am interested in what happens [after the events of Nobody’s Empire], because then the songs come along and Belle and Sebastian gets going and it’s quite a good origin story. I mentioned it to Stevie and Chris [Jackson and Geddes, from the band], and they were like: “Go for it.”
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Nobody’s Empire is published by Faber on 10 October (£20). To support the Guardian and Observer order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply
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Nobody’s Empire: An Evening With Stuart Murdoch tours the UK, starting in Cambridge on 7 October
Source: theguardian.com
