I was anxious from the womb. It’s who I am. As a child, my thoughts would happen at night-time: I’d struggle to breathe and have stomach aches. Depression came in my late teens. The doctor suggested therapy and I was outraged. “I’m British. We don’t do that.” Then I realised anxiety had spilled over into something else.
My nan called me “Sunshine and Showers”. I was either happy or low, without much in between. It wasn’t until I was older I realised she was right. I got a “Sunshine and Showers” tattoo but she had dementia by then and didn’t remember that’s what she called me. Instead, she told me off for having a tattoo.
Social media has a lot to answer for. When I started out in S Club Juniors, aged 12, I was blissfully unaware of whether people liked me or not. There was a line between us and our fans. Nowadays, the line is blurred.
Dolly Parton made me feel starstruck. I interviewed her for Loose Women and got tongue-tied. I kept thinking, “This is so bizarre. I’m talking to Dolly. What business have I got asking her questions?”
Psychiatric hospital made me realise I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t sectioned. I chose to go and stayed a month. Soon, a massive weight lifted. I was 21, my band the Saturdays was mega-successful, but I was hiding everything. It was refreshing to be in an environment where everybody had similar problems. We spoke about medication, trauma, panic attacks. Nothing was off the table. There was no shame.
I regret the mirrored dancefloor at my wedding. That’s what happens when you marry at 24. It fitted the aesthetic of the room, but when guests started dancing everyone had a go at me. I was fine in a long dress. Anyone in a short dress was fuming. Luckily, the more drunk they got, the less they cared.
The secret to relationships is about figuring it out as you go along. I’ve been with Wayne [Bridge, ex-footballer] for 14 years. We’ve changed, our lives and careers have changed, but you have to ride the waves and not expect it to be perfect all the time. Nobody’s born married or a parent. Everyone’s learning on the fly.
Run towards your fears. The more scared I am to do something, the more joy I get out of it. Which is probably fucked up.
I used to fall over a lot. The most embarrassing one was performing live with the Saturdays on GMTV. You can see me scrabbling around in the corner. Someone put together a reel of my falls on YouTube, which was nice of them.
Angry music is freeing. I went through an emo phase in my teens and still love angsty Noughties rock. If I’m having one of those days, I put on a Paramore
Motherhood taught me I can’t control everything. Having kids actually eased a lot of my anxiety. But it gave me worries, too.
I’ve been having therapy and been on medication for years. I try to implement things in my life to make me feel better: exercise, eat healthily, go for walks, reach out to people when I’m feeling overwhelmed. But it’s hard to do the right things during a bad patch. The brain is frustrating.
Ketamine therapy was a real indulgence, but it really helped me. It’s frustrating that it’s so expensive and isn’t accessible to most people yet.
Talk to someone. It sounds obvious, but it’s the best advice for anyone suffering with their mental health. And if someone opens up to you, don’t try to fix them. Just listen.
A big coat can save your look. You can be wearing the worst outfit but put a good oversized coat on top and you’ll look put together.
Ghosthunting on TV was terrifying. I did it with The Saturdays. Us five girls wound each other up. Hysteria took hold. The next day, I couldn’t move my neck because we’d been so tense for so long.
Angry music is freeing. I went through an emo phase in my teens and still love angsty Noughties rock. If I’m having one of those days, I play Paramore loud. It makes me feel myself again.
The last time I cried was watching Nobody Wants This on Netflix. At the end, I just went.
Frankie Bridge is an ambassador for the mental health charity Mind
Source: theguardian.com
