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When I get to the small restaurant near Paul Rhys’s house in central London, he is already there, dressed in all black and blending in with the dark walls. He has a thick journal in front of him and explains that he writes every day to prevent his head from exploding. With 30 years’ worth of material, it seems like he could write a fascinating memoir. I imagine he would include witty anecdotes about working with great co-stars, while also criticizing himself for the choices he made as a working-class Welsh boy turned posh actor. Despite these eccentric career decisions, he is now experiencing a well-deserved career boost as he approaches 60. He is a pleasure to be around – open and warm. Soon enough, I learn about his feelings towards his mother and the fact that his beloved dog is dying. At one point, he asks if he can ask me some questions, and I find myself sharing things that I haven’t even told my closest friends.
Rhys is featured in two highly-discussed movies this year, namely Saltburn by Emerald Fennell and Napoleon by Ridley Scott. He will also appear in the BBC comedy-drama Men Up during the upcoming Christmas season, which is a dramatized retelling of the clinical trial in Swansea that resulted in the creation of Viagra in the early 1990s. Many have commented on his unexpected career resurgence, but he is unsure of how to feel about it. According to him, life is just a daily journey and he finds it truly satisfying to be constantly working and collaborating with influential and noteworthy directors.
He appears to have relished the excitement surrounding both of the movies. Saltburn, where he portrays a reserved but impactful butler, has caused quite a bit of debate. Rhys believes that Fennell intentionally created it to be polarizing. He speaks highly of her, saying, “I cannot praise her enough.” Similarly, Napoleon has also sparked controversy, especially in France. A French actor friend recently texted him, expressing her enjoyment of Napoleon, where he takes on the role of the conniving Talleyrand. With a raised eyebrow and a smile, he responded, “Is that so?”
He says that playing a character in “Men Up” was a unique experience for him, as he typically plays aristocrats and vampires in his career (which I believe is due to his height and pale complexion). His role in the play is Tommy, a gay man struggling with erectile dysfunction. It’s not a surprise that in a time period where homophobia was prevalent, Tommy has to deceive others in order to participate in the trial and experiences discrimination because of it.
Before getting ready, Rhys studied, consulted with an expert on sexual issues, and conversed with multiple men. “I talked to this individual, who identified as gay. Particularly at that period, being virile was crucial in the gay community. When marriage or long-term relationships were not as common as they are now, one’s worth was often determined by their sexual abilities. Therefore, for Tommy to be impotent in that society, he feels like a disappointment and inadequate as a man. This person helped me understand the struggles of this situation.”
Out of the five main characters, the emotional weight of being unable to perform sexually is significant. Rhys acknowledges this, stating, “I comprehend it completely.” He recognizes the societal pressure placed on men in regards to their sexual prowess. Rhys reflects on the emphasis placed on the male genitalia and the narrow view that sex is solely about that one aspect. He voices concern about the impact of pornography, particularly the depiction of exaggerated erections, and recalls witnessing young boys laughing at a clip they saw on television. He worries about the influence it may have on impressionable minds.
According to him, he was not exposed to pornography until he reached the age of 24 and did not fully understand the concept of sex. As he was finishing his studies at Rada, he had a reputation of being a “player” but in reality, he had not even kissed anyone. This misconception of his character has influenced his life and he has had very few sexual partners. Society expects men to be promiscuous, and deviating from this norm is seen as abnormal.
Rhys identifies as queer and reflects on how difficult it was for him growing up. He appreciates the fact that the term “queer” is now widely used by young people and believes it reflects the reality for many individuals. Russell T Davies, the producer of Men Up, strongly believes that only gay actors should portray gay characters. Rhys acknowledges the validity of this argument, recognizing that in the past, LGBTQ+ individuals were marginalized and not given opportunities to play heterosexual roles. He is grateful that society has progressed and individuals no longer have to hide their sexuality to be successful in the entertainment industry.
However, he also states that artists should have the freedom to explore. He believes that it spells disaster if an artist is limited to only portraying themselves. He personally had to pretend to be posh, Beethoven, or immortal from the start. He acknowledges the importance of allowing gay men to play their sexuality authentically, but also acknowledges that a straight man can also portray it effectively.
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According to him, he generally does not support strict categorization of sexuality. Rhys’s most significant romantic relationship was with Arkie Whiteley, an actress who passed away in 2001 at the age of 37. It took him a considerable amount of time to recover from the loss. He admits that forming another deep connection with someone was the last thing on his mind. His story is one of abstinence rather than anything else, which he feels embarrassed to discuss because he cannot explain how it came about. His difficult and unloving childhood has influenced his ability to find and maintain love in his adult life. He believes that without consistent and supportive love in one’s upbringing, it is challenging to find it later on.
During his childhood in Neath, Rhys aspired to be David Bowie rather than an actor. His mother was a cleaner with only a 7th grade education, while his father worked for a gas pipe manufacturing company. He recalls being taken on field trips to a coal mine and factory, where he was shown his potential future and realized it was not what he wanted. Rhys describes his school experience as “awful” due to the abuse and violence he faced, and the lack of expectations from teachers in a hopeless and cruel environment.
The household environment was also filled with unhappiness. It was dysfunctional, as his parents did not communicate with each other for an entire year and were neglectful towards their children. For two years, Rhys skipped school without anyone noticing. However, he had a strong passion for reading and was particularly drawn to cowboy books. These stories of independence inspired him to write a fake letter, pretending to be from his mother, to the local education authority. The letter claimed that her “very bright child” needed to be transferred to a better school. Surprisingly, the plan was successful.
Rada was a similar experience for Rhys. While in London for a concert, he noticed the drama school from the fogged up windows of a doubledecker bus. He was immediately drawn to it and wondered what he needed to do to attend. Luckily, he was awarded a scholarship, which was amazing but also came with a lot of pressure. Some people back home questioned why he suddenly had a posh accent, but at the time, it was necessary to have one in order to land leading roles. After graduating, his mother refused to watch him perform, stating “I’m not going up there to see you make a fool of yourself,” which Rhys imitates.
Rhys always had doubts about his position at Rada. He admits, “I have always been afraid, even though I may not show it outwardly.” Even to this day, he continues to feel this way. “I live in constant fear. If you weren’t raised with a sense of entitlement, like those from middle and upper class backgrounds, it’s hard to shake off that feeling of inequality. No matter what job I take on, I question why I was chosen.”
After appearing in Rada, he quickly achieved success in Robert Altman’s 1990 film “Vincent & Theo” as the brother of Van Gogh. He and his co-star Tim Roth were both pursued by Hollywood, but while Roth embraced it, Rhys decided to return to the theatre instead of accepting a lucky break. He describes the experience as “gruelling” and “intense”, but also fantastic, as he has received wide acclaim for his roles as both Hamlet and King Lear. He admits that he may not have been suited for leading man roles anyway, as he has always embraced his unique and quirky qualities instead of conforming to traditional standards of attractiveness. He explains, “I could sometimes pass for good-looking, but I could also just as easily be grotesque, and I always found more joy in embracing the grotesque.”
Rhys is turning 60 on Tuesday, but it’s hard to believe when looking at him; maybe he’s more like a vampire than I realized. While it has been a time of professional success, it has also been a time of personal growth. In the past, he struggled with his identity, but now it’s becoming clearer as he lets go of the past. He is moving forward. “I’m figuring out how to embrace being an older person,” he explains. He doesn’t want to fight aging, but he still wants to stay involved and passionate. “So I have to create a way to stay up-to-date with music and film. It’s my passion – being a part of something that resonates with the present.”
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“Men Up” will be airing on BBC One on December 29th.
Source: theguardian.com
