Karla Sofía Gascón, the first out trans actor to be nominated for an Oscar, whose hopes of winning were dashed after offensive social media posts were surfaced a month before the ceremony, has spoken out about the “unexpected, devastating storm” of awards season.
The Spanish actor says that the final stretch of the race, was the “most exposed” period of her life. She faced widespread criticism for her tweets, and despite repeated apologies, was cold-shouldered by the cast and crew of Emilia Pérez, while studio Netflix dropped her from campaigns and cut off funds allowing her to travel to ceremonies. A contract with her Spanish publisher was cancelled, and senior politicians in her home country spoke of their disappointment in her.
“Absurd and even delirious accusations were thrown at me, which deeply hurt my spirit. Things escalated to a point, and so quickly, that I couldn’t even breathe.
“Amid this unexpected, devastating storm, there have been moments when the pain has been so overwhelming that I contemplated the unthinkable,” Gascón continues.
“I harboured darker thoughts than those I considered in some of my previous, no less intimate and personal struggles. And I asked myself: if I, with all my strength and preparedness to deal with rage and rejection, am on the edge, what would have become of someone with fewer emotional resources to resist this onslaught? Somehow, I made it. Others would not have survived this brutal winter I am about to wrap up.”
A fortnight before the Oscars ceremony, Netflix and the director of Emilia Pérez, Jacques Audiard, appeared to rethink their previous strategy. The studio offered to fund Gascón’s expenses to attend the César awards in Paris while Audiard – who had previously said that he hadn’t spoken to his star and “didn’t want to” – shouted out affectionately to the absent Gascón in a Bafta acceptance speech.
Some have speculated that this U-turn may have been prompted by concerns over Gascón’s mental health. A number of senior publicists who spoke to the Guardian expressed anxiety over whether the studio and Gascón’s publicists had performed due diligence over their client’s social media history, as well as fulfilling a duty of care towards a newcomer to international fame.
Emilia Pérez went into the Oscars with a record-breaking 13 nominations but ended up with just two awards: supporting actress for Zoe Saldaña and best song, for El Mal.
At the ceremony, host Conan O’Brien made reference to the controversy in a joke saying that: “Anora uses the F-word 479 times. That’s more than the record set by Karla Sofía Gascón’s publicist.” He also asked the actor to refer to him as Jimmy Kimmel.
After the ceremony, Gascón told the Hollywood Reporter that she “loved the ceremony, honestly, I found it very enjoyable”.
“I would have liked to experience it more normally, from the happiness of being nominated, of celebrating, as I am now, full of love, a person who puts her soul and her being into her work and who gives herself to others,” she added. “I am very grateful to return and for how my colleagues and the professionals of the Hollywood industry received me. I am grateful to the academy, to Netflix and to the production.”
In her lengthy statement, Gascón said she had learned a lot from the experience, including that “hatred, like fire, cannot be put down with more hatred”.
“Offences cannot be erased with more offences, and mistakes cannot clean up other mistakes, especially when lies and falseness proliferate all around and when all they send back to me is pure rage, blatant bullying, vexation, scorn and even death threats.”
She concludes by saying that she will continue to fight the corner for oppressed minorities, as “a trans woman trapped in the worst possible place: the body of a criminal immersed in an extreme patriarchy”.
“You will always find me on the opposite side of fanaticism, imposition, patriarchy, fascism, dictatorships, terror, abuse and irrationality,” she says. “I do not bind myself to any political flag; I only try to be a human being in constant evolution, with successes and failures, but with an unbreakable will to learn, listen, admit mistakes, apologise and forgive others as I forgive myself for the unnecessary pain I have caused.”
Gascón’s full statement
Sometimes, we put on a shield to protect ourselves, so that harm does not reach our hearts, our skin, or our souls. I have my own armour too, like anyone else. It’s not pretty, but it has saved my life a couple of times. The problem is, precisely, that shields can be cold and hard on the outside and can also hurt those around you. That is what happened to me, to those who love me, and to those who believed in me.
Lately, as I have been the target of harmful words, I have also said hurtful things throughout my life that have caused others to feel offended – things done and said from fear, from my own ignorance, from my own pain, from the outside of that cold, upsetting shield.
With no excuse, and without any intention to justify any of my past actions, I apologise to all I have offended at any point in my life and throughout my journey. I humbly ask for their forgiveness and, to honour their kindness and understanding, I promise I will commit to continuing to learn and listen, so as not to make the same mistakes in the future.
For the last few years of my life, I went out into the world and gave my best to bring visibility to a historically overlooked group – a group that is part of my identity and my own reality. I have been defending and reflecting the life of a trans woman trapped in the worst possible place: the body of a criminal immersed in an extreme patriarchy. While doing so, my purpose was always to do it with as much dignity as possible, showing a story of struggle and resistance that deserved to be told. I poured my soul, my life, and my essence into this project, working side by side with great Mexican friends who helped me convey a message of hope: we can all be better people, no matter our starting point or our beginnings in this quest called life.
Mexico holds an indelible place in my heart. In this magnetic and amazing country, I was allowed to establish my career as an actor, and I have received friendship, affection, and human warmth I will never forget. Since the day my dear Julián Pastor, a legendary film director, opened his doors to me, my love for this land and its people became eternal.
My commitment to stand for Mexico, all Mexicans, and for the rights of the most disadvantaged remains strong. You will always find me on the opposite side of fanaticism, imposition, patriarchy, fascism, dictatorships, terror, abuse, and irrationality. I do not bind myself to any political flag; I only try to be a human being in constant evolution, with successes and failures, but with an unbreakable will to learn, listen, admit mistakes, apologise, and forgive others as I forgive myself for the unnecessary pain I have caused.
Because of my daughter, and for future generations, I want to open an honest discussion and reflection on mental health. Throughout different stages of my life, I have gone through dark moments – episodes in which despair led me to unexpected places. In this last episode, the most talked about and most exposed of my life, several fake accounts were created in my name to add to the pain and confusion. Absurd and even delirious accusations were thrown at me, which deeply hurt my spirit. Things escalated to a point, and so quickly, that I couldn’t even breathe.
Amid this unexpected, devastating storm, there have been moments when the pain has been so overwhelming that I contemplated the unthinkable. I harboured darker thoughts than those I considered in some of my previous, no less intimate and personal struggles. And I asked myself: if I, with all my strength and preparedness to deal with rage and rejection, am on the edge, what would have become of someone with fewer emotional resources to resist this onslaught? Somehow, I made it. Others would not have survived this brutal winter I am about to wrap up.
Now that the storm is calming down a bit, and the worst has passed (or so I hope), I start seeing clearly what I have learned. I’ve learned that hatred, like fire, cannot be put down with more hatred. Offences cannot be erased with more offences, and mistakes cannot clean up other mistakes, especially when lies and falseness proliferate all around and when all they send back to me is pure rage, blatant bullying, vexation, scorn, and even death threats.
Fortunately, I have kept my one inch of sanity to see the light at the end of this tunnel of hate and understand that I must be and do better, and correct my past faults, without engaging in more darkness. Otherwise, if I play their game, and reciprocate and amplify all that hate others project on me, I will get lost; I will never move forward, and I won’t be able to keep helping others still stuck in the storm.
The responsibility to care for ourselves as a society lies with each one of us. As Martin Luther King Jr said, “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Therefore, if there is something that must guide us in these difficult days, it is empathy with those, like me, who have walked on the edge most of our lives, who believed we were a mistake, and then, we made mistakes. As Albert Camus stated, “there is only one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide,” because it confronts us with the very meaning of existence. I am not quoting these words to insinuate anything or point at myself, but for those others who would not have been able to endure what I just have endured.
Only through understanding, compassion, forgiveness and empathy can we build a world where difference is not synonymous with condemnation, but with richness. A world where we can learn and grow as we go. A world where we can all put our shields aside and be ourselves.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Source: theguardian.com
