“How There’s No One Quite Like Grandma” became a Christmas No. 1 after a child vomited on the singer’s feet.


Tara Daynes, chorister

I attended St. Winifred’s Roman Catholic primary school in Stockport as a student. The school choir had been established for around eight years when I auditioned and they already had a contract for recording. Our choir director, Miss Foley, was excellent. She wore glasses similar to those of Deirdre Barlow and, while she didn’t push us with a pitchfork, she expected us to work hard and did not tolerate any misbehavior. We recorded several albums and performed at numerous events before recording our single, “There’s No One Quite Like Grandma.” After one of our shows, we had the opportunity to meet the songwriter, Gordon Lorenz, backstage. Miss Foley then instructed us to learn all of the harmonies and other parts for the song.

We captured the audio at Strawberry Studios, which was a short five-minute distance. Despite being only 10 years old, I was still quite small and stood next to a young child with a strong voice but a tendency to vomit – she once threw up on my feet. During the recording, she suddenly passed out and fell to the ground, but a voice from the control booth reassured us by saying, “Don’t worry, she landed on the carpet so it didn’t make any sound.”

A group of us secretly entered the library to listen to the top chart countdown and celebrated when it reached No 16 in the beginning of December 1980. Around the same time, John Lennon’s (Just Like) Starting Over was also on the charts and when he was tragically killed, Sister Aquinas, the nun who was our headmistress, couldn’t help but think, “How will this affect our sales?” However, our sales actually increased and we surpassed Lennon for the top spot. We were amazed and delighted to be the Christmas No 1.

The producers of Top of the Pops repeatedly had us perform the same song, while constantly urging us to add more energy and smile. We were always reminded not to bother the main performers. However, during our appearance on Jim’ll Fix It, two children asked to join us in singing and we were kept away from host Jimmy Savile. Our school proudly displayed a signed letter from him on the noticeboard, but it was taken down quickly years later. I also encountered Terry Wogan at the BBC, who breezed past me with his large cigar. Another memorable meeting was with Telly Savalas, known for his role as Kojak, on Pebble Mill at One. I recall noticing freckles on his bald head.

I do not mind if it is included in lists of the worst Christmas songs ever. Despite its unpleasantness, it has a catchy tune and resonates with the theme of family. It was on the music charts for 11 weeks. We had a great experience and I have never forgotten how fortunate we were to have that opportunity.

Peter Tattersall, producer

In 1967, I established Strawberry Studios. Later, 10cc joined as investors and we produced their successful songs, including “I’m Not in Love.” We also recorded other bands such as Buzzcocks and Joy Division. I noticed the talent of my daughter Paula, who was part of St Winifred’s school choir. I suggested to the headmistress that they make an album to sell to parents and raise funds for the school. One parent passed it on to someone at Yorkshire TV, and we were invited to perform on Stars on Sunday, which led to a surge in popularity.

I used to receive tapes at the studio, and one of them was a song about grandmothers. After listening to it, I couldn’t get the catchy tune out of my head that night. The song had been written by Gordon Lorenz for the Queen Mother’s 80th birthday in August, but I thought it would be perfect as a Christmas single and my intuition proved to be correct! We enlisted the help of a choir mistress and Mike Timoney, who played a simple keyboard accompaniment. The children involved were always well-mannered and dressed nicely. The soloist, Dawn Ralph, had pigtails, was missing her front teeth, had a charming voice, and a slight lisp. I immediately thought, “She’ll look fantastic on TV.”

“Skip the advertisement for the newsletter.”

Our record label, Music for Pleasure, initially did not release singles and all other record companies rejected us. However, MFP’s music director eventually changed his mind after consistently playing the song. The 7-inch single quickly sold out in stores. After being played on Terry Wogan’s Radio 2 show, we received a silver certification by lunchtime and by evening, it had achieved gold status.

In 1980, our single was the top-selling song and we were awarded an Ivor Novello. Despite competing against popular artists like the Police and Barbra Streisand, we sold almost 1 million copies in the UK and 1.3 million worldwide. As a result, we had the opportunity to collaborate with Abba and meet Margaret Thatcher. The best part is that all the profits were donated to our school, which allowed for the purchase of numerous books for the library and new carpets for the entire building. I am incredibly proud of this achievement.

Source: theguardian.com